Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
