My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
