oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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