..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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