sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
