38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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