the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
