Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
