??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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