is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
