i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
