You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
