Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
