Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
