She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
