I bet he comes in French.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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