shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woke up backwards on a recliner
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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