the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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