remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
