i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He shit in the fireplace
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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