Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
