Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
