you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
