True but thats because hes a fetus.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I need a beard to bite.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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