you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Do vagina's smell?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
