im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
