we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize