you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
