When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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