you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
