Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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