I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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