I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
