are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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