Don't make out with my wife yet
It's Friday. Sex?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
