Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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