But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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