32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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