Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
there's paper in my vomit.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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