listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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