We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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