Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
