I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
