Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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