Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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