first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
