remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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