Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
