FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
