Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
