The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The struggles of a small town man whore
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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