I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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